Responsible

I am tired, tired of being responsible. Responsible for myself, responsible at work, responsible for my adult children, responsible for everything. I am angry at myself, I forgot to do some things today. I forgot to pay a bill, I will do it tomorrow, but it will cost more. I have done this to myself, I have put myself in this position. I have tried to pull away, to say "it's your deal, not my problem," but I can't. Ultimately, I let it all be my problem, I feel there is too much at stake. Some times, I wish I could just not give a fuck, but I can't, I guess it just isn't who I am. I want to be irresponsible, I want to let everything lay where it falls. But I can't, and picking up the pieces is harder than holding it all together.