If it sounds to good to be true...

it probably is, except for my Blueberry Coffee Cake.

I am coming back from the dead and not as a zombie! After being on a higher dosage of medication for a week, I am feeling fairly normal. Still tired, but that might be normal. This has been a week of ups and downs. My youngest son had more car problems (he is extrememly hard on cars, need I say more?), that was a down. J was here on Tuesday and spent the night, definite up...absolutely the week's highlight! My oldest son has fallen prey to a secret shopper scam (I did try to warn him, but he didn't listen). This is a down, though more for him than me. He was sent a cashier's check, which they deposited. I won't relate all of the details, but it was supposed to be a quick $300.00. He kept saying that if it was a scam, he would know before any harm was done. As of last night, their account showed a $1,000,000.00 overdraft. Yes, that is one million dollars. Monday is a holiday, so Tuesday is the earliest that they can try to straighten this out.

The one good thing that has come out of my whole hormonal imbalance, is that I have just been too tired to be super mom. I have been pulling back from the boys over the past year. My resources and my energy have not been able to stretch far enough to cover both my needs and theirs. I admit that I have not completely cut them off, but they have learned to be much more independent. Of course, where the grandchildren are concerned, I still put them ahead of myself. I just have too hard a time seeing my grandchildren go without. I also have decided that it is easier and cheaper to help out sometimes, than to face the possibility of having everyone move in here, should they lose their house.

I have to keep reminding myself of what I was doing at their ages. I also never called my parents for help, unless it was a dire emergency. (Of course, their fathers have no problem saying no...actually their fathers are not above asking them for help.) It is sometimes hard to find a balance as a parent, but I am finding my way.

The good news is, I am going to give you my recipe for Blueberry Coffee Cake. I adapted this from Cooking Light, no this is not the light version. I was able to buy blueberries for $1 per pint, everything else I had on hand. Bear with me, this is my first recipe post. Also feel free to ask for clarification if I leave anything out.

Ingredients

1 and 1/2 cup of all purpose flour

1 tsp. baking powder

1/4 tsp. baking soda

1/4 tsp. salt

1 cup granulated sugar

1 stick (8 Tblsp.) of butter, softened...real butter NOT margarine

1 tsp. vanilla extract

2 large eggs

1 and 1/3 cups of buttermilk

2 cups (one pint is close enough) fresh blueberries

1/4 cup of turbinado sugar (or brown sugar will work just fine)

Preparation

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

In medium bowl combine flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt, stir with whisk.

Cream together butter and granulated sugar. Add in vanilla and eggs, mix well. Alternately add in flour mixture and buttermilk (about a third each time) mixing each time after adding.

Grease and flour a 9 inch deep dish pie pan (or other deep 9 inch baking pan), or use a baking spray.

Coat blueberries with a few tablespoons of flour, this will keep them from sinking to the bottom.

Spread half of the batter in the pan. Evenly place half of the blueberries over the batter. Cover with other half of the batter. Place the rest of the blueberries on top. Sprinkle the turbinado (or brown) sugar over the top.

Bake at 350 degrees for one hour, or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.

Cut into wedges and serve warm. Yum.

So...it's not just because I'm getting old

I received the results of my lab work in the mail today. I have been recovering from being sick, but slowly. I have also been feeling pretty terrible, which I thought was from being so worn down due to being sick. The letter from my doctor showed that all of my lab work was good, except my TSH results. The high end of the normal range is between 3 and 4.5, my level is 12.9.

TSH stands for thyroid stimulating hormone, it is released by the pituitary gland. Its purpose is to stimulate the thyroid to make hormones which control your metabolism. I do not have a thyroid, but my pituitary gland doesn't know that. When my medication levels are too low, more TSH is released to try and stimulate my absent thyroid. Obviously, my body is trying very hard to correct the problem (which it can't). The bottom line is that I presently have an extremely low metabolism. Symptoms include: extreme tiredness, swelling in extremities, dry skin, brittle nails, difficulties concentrating, memory loss, joint pain, cold intolerance, weight gain, and decreased resistance. I have all of these symptoms and a few more. Tomorrow, I will get my new (higher dosage) prescription filled and, hopefully, correct the problem.

I will admit to not feeling quite this bad since I initially went through my cancer treatment. I am also a bit relieved to discover the reason for all of my symptoms. I had suspected (as did my doctor) that my levels were off, but I had no idea they were so far off. After being on the medication for this long, I only have my lab work done once a year. Some of my symptoms started in November. I am ready to begin feeling better.

I know I have been writing less frequently. That has been greatly due to not being able to concentrate. Not being able to think clearly has been the worst symptom to deal with. I absolutely hate not being able to remember things or think well. I am hoping that will be the first thing to clear up. For right now, I am going to bed.

Sick and Tired

Perhaps I jinxed myself by stating that I wasn't sick, because I am now. Not deathly ill mind you, but pretty miserable. I am sure it is just a head cold, but it has made my asthma kick in. I am feeling out of breath, exhausted, and heavy. I feel like my head and extremities are made of lead, I can hardly lift them. Today, my ribcage is also sore from coughing.

It is funny to me, how things can be going very nicely and then everything begins to snowball into that avalanche of not so good. That is what happened this week. My youngest grandson went to the hospital with pneumonia. He is doing much better now and he should be fine. Though my son and his family are currently unemployed and uninsured. Prescriptions and medication cost money, which I contributed to the cause. My youngest son has been having some car problems. His windshield cracked in the ice storm and he had a flat tire a few days later. I do believe that it was all due to the weather, but he is also very hard on cars. He is employed, but never has any money saved for the unexpected. At least the money I gave to him, will probably be repaid. On Friday, I also realized that I had not purchased the dogs' licenses yet, I had to get them that day or pay double for late fees later (so I paid out $47.25 for my three furry children). I have commented to J, that I would be rich (or at least very solvent) if I had no children or grandchildren (the dogs being in that same category). Though, I wouldn't be as loved and fulfilled as I am having all of them.

Money notwithstanding, I just didn't feel up to all the problems this week. Not my problems, but problems for those I love. Believe me when I tell you that my sons are very good at asking, "What should I do?" That is because I am very good at telling them. Raising the boys as a single mother, with no outside help and very little involvement of their fathers, led to an "us against the world" mindset. Now they are adults and it is time for them to stand on their own. I have gotten better over the past year of pulling back and setting up boundaries, but I need to do more work there. This week, I wanted to reply, "Do you know how sick I am?" It just seemed very timely that Shannee wrote a post on trust, self-care and setting boundaries. It was wisdom that I already knew, but needed to be reminded of.

All in all, the week's problems didn't upset me too much. Maybe I was too sick to care or maybe I have come to realize, "It's always something."