Sick and Tired

Perhaps I jinxed myself by stating that I wasn't sick, because I am now. Not deathly ill mind you, but pretty miserable. I am sure it is just a head cold, but it has made my asthma kick in. I am feeling out of breath, exhausted, and heavy. I feel like my head and extremities are made of lead, I can hardly lift them. Today, my ribcage is also sore from coughing.

It is funny to me, how things can be going very nicely and then everything begins to snowball into that avalanche of not so good. That is what happened this week. My youngest grandson went to the hospital with pneumonia. He is doing much better now and he should be fine. Though my son and his family are currently unemployed and uninsured. Prescriptions and medication cost money, which I contributed to the cause. My youngest son has been having some car problems. His windshield cracked in the ice storm and he had a flat tire a few days later. I do believe that it was all due to the weather, but he is also very hard on cars. He is employed, but never has any money saved for the unexpected. At least the money I gave to him, will probably be repaid. On Friday, I also realized that I had not purchased the dogs' licenses yet, I had to get them that day or pay double for late fees later (so I paid out $47.25 for my three furry children). I have commented to J, that I would be rich (or at least very solvent) if I had no children or grandchildren (the dogs being in that same category). Though, I wouldn't be as loved and fulfilled as I am having all of them.

Money notwithstanding, I just didn't feel up to all the problems this week. Not my problems, but problems for those I love. Believe me when I tell you that my sons are very good at asking, "What should I do?" That is because I am very good at telling them. Raising the boys as a single mother, with no outside help and very little involvement of their fathers, led to an "us against the world" mindset. Now they are adults and it is time for them to stand on their own. I have gotten better over the past year of pulling back and setting up boundaries, but I need to do more work there. This week, I wanted to reply, "Do you know how sick I am?" It just seemed very timely that Shannee wrote a post on trust, self-care and setting boundaries. It was wisdom that I already knew, but needed to be reminded of.

All in all, the week's problems didn't upset me too much. Maybe I was too sick to care or maybe I have come to realize, "It's always something."