Gratefulness

It seems I am only writing here anymore when I am rather melancholy. But writing is a bit of a catharsis for me, so be it.

Last night, one of my friend's sons was in a car wreck. He is in critical condition on a ventilator now. He is 22 years old, the same age as my youngest son. In fact the two of them used to compete in baseball. Ryan survived a tour in Iraq and returned home to his family and now his life is dangling. His cousin was also in the car, he is dead at the age of 21.

I cannot imagine what these mothers are going through right now. Except, I think that I can, this is every mother's fear and worry. We all have imagined it at one time or another. It is a reality that we sometimes forget. We forget when we get frustrated, or disappointed, or angry. We forget when everything is going well. Tonight, I am saddened, subdued and hurting for a friend. I am also grateful for my own sons. I am thankful that they are well and can be here to frustrate me, test me, anger me and love me. I am grateful for every single moment of stress and worry and frustration they have ever caused me. For if something ever happened to them, I would give everything I have to get one of those moments back.

Tonight, I am very grateful, for so many things.