Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all of you mothers out there. I am not one who embraces or celebrates Hallmark holidays. I shun Valentine's Day and I absolutely abhor Sweetest Day. Today is a little different. I have always had to acknowledge Mother's Day, otherwise my mother would know what a piece of shit daughter I really am. Love you Mom!

Over the years, I have received many Mother's Day presents. The first one was some kind of plaque with a gushy poem, bought by my ex-husband when my son was an infant. Many were made of construction paper, glitter and glue. I still have a few of them. I am not a sentimental person, I do not have boxes of pictures, school papers and cards saved in my closet. I would much rather have someone cut my grass (PLEASE!) and clean the litter box, than give me a card and take me to dinner. Anymore, I really do not hold many expectations. My sons would have to borrow money from me to buy me a present. Suggesting that they might complete a distasteful household chore, in order to provide a token of their love and appreciation, is met with a look of horror and dismay. They are not ingrates (okay, not all the time) they love me and I know it. My oldest son and his family did give me a candle last night. I was touched and managed to repress my urge to tell him to get a job.

I have an unusual relationship with my boys. I am the only parent they had. Yes, their fathers were out there, somewhere. I did all the mom things, I also fixed bikes, practiced pitching, critiqued batting, camped, fished, went to sporting events, had the sex talk, and taught them to drive. My sons and I have discussed girls, sports, genitalia, condoms, drugs, you name it. I have had much practice suppressing my horrified mom face and wearing my stoic, I'm listening face. I have often wished I could tell them to ask their father. In addition to my own two boys, I have taken in at least four others over the years for different durations. They have also come to me for advice about sex, women, and how to be a man. Some of my advice has stuck and some of it just rolled off their backs. I have received Mother's Day cards from boys I did not give birth to. I have even received one sent from jail. I know I cannot save the world. I cannot even save all of those boys, but it is nice to know that they knew I was Mom.

Now I am Grandma, it is better than Mom. Last night, as I lay on the couch with all three grandchildren piled on top of me, I was happy. Tired, but happy. Today, is not about presents, tribute, or appreciation. It is about knowing that my children and grandchildren are alive, safe, and they know I love them.